Work and Worth

 

Today I read an article published by Thrive Global with a very bold title, one that enticed me to click and read more.  The gist of the title suggested that 'work is the single most important way of proving your worth in the U.S' and it is 'making Americans miserable.'  Our country very much still lives with a protestant work ethic as somewhat the ideal for individuals.  In this view, being a hard worker is a sign of one's value as a human.  Additionally, our public policies are built on the concept of 'deservingness', which is defined by working a traditional job.

Now, it is true that not all countries share this ideal.  In fact, most European countries, tend to value leisure over work and benefit from a higher level of life satisfaction because of that.  The top 5 happiest countries all have 'strong social safety nets, trustworthy institutions, well functioning governments, high quality of life, and an emphasis on work-life balance, rather than simply work.'  The U.S is number 18 on this list of happiest countries, behind both Canada and the U.K.  One study showed that individuals in these happier countries were able to more easily maintain their happiness during the 2008 recession because their identity wasn't just wrapped up in work.

This concept is foreign to most Americans.  When meeting someone for the first time here, one often asks 'So, what do you do?'.  This questions just reaffirms that American focus on how work defines our worth.  I'm guilty of it myself.  I believe that work does somewhat define who you are as a person, but I don't connect what someone does for work to their worth.  I'm normally more interested in hearing about a person's journey to where they are now, when I am meeting them.  How did they decided on that career path?  Was it something that they always dreamed of doing since they were young?  Or was it just something that they stumbled into?  Are they happy in their current role?  Or are they searching for what's next or more fulfilling?  These are the questions that I hope to find the answers to when I personally ask someone what they do for work.

With COVID-19, we are witnessing unprecedented times as far as unemployment numbers.  Mental health professionals are reporting that many of those unemployed Americans are speaking about depression, shame and self-hatred.  Having a job, to Americans, is 'not simply about [if you can] afford your day-to-day existence but [about] are you worthy of human existence.'  I'm guilty of having some of these feelings myself.  The process of job searching is grueling, even during a normal time.  Add a pandemic into the mix and it doesn't look too pretty.

The U.S is a country of individualism.  This social framework involves the idea that individuals are expected to be able to take care of themselves and their immediate families.  They are supposed to be the masters of their own fate, so when things go wrong, they only have themselves to blame.  Of course, we don't exist in a vacuum and we are all dependent on each other.  Circumstances do matter and there are things that are out of our control - a pandemic for instance.

Many individuals who are unemployed right now feel guilt.  Those that have been let go question if they could have held onto the job if they had just worked harder.  This is not the type of thinking that these individuals need right now.  Unfortunately for them (and me), there is more pressure on individuals in the U.S to be gainfully employed.  Our health insurance is wrapped up in work, a situation that is unique to our country.  For a parent, being employed ensures that an individual covers themselves and their dependents when it comes to health costs.  Having this looming over one's head during this pandemic could absolutely cause an increase in stress levels, even to dangerous levels.

This Thrive Global article ended on a positive note, or at least tried to.  The author asks the reader to be introspective about their current emotions and situation.  Are you someone who was let go, is currently job searching or was demoted due to the pandemic?  Do you feel the shame or guilt that I've mentioned in this post?  If so, you are absolutely not alone....but it is important to recognize that your worth IS NOT defined simply by what you do for work.  Here, the author reminds individuals to identify things that they like about themselves.  There are things outside of work and one's career that make an individual feel joy and fulfillment.  It is an important time to recognize those things and embrace them.

Another recent article from Shine aims to highlight the fact that there are many things that factor into one's worth.  No one item is all-consuming in the process.  We often don't even what metrics we are using to define our concept of worth.  A psychotherapist who contributes to Psychology Today, Amy Morin, spoke about how we should measure our self-worth.  She suggests we 'use a measuring stick based on factors [we] can control—not the external events in [our] life.  When you know who you are—and you're pleased with the person you've become—you'll experience a sense of peace through life's inevitable ups and downs. You'll believe in yourself regardless of whether you've been fired, gone through a divorce, or failed to get a promotion.'  It sounds easy enough when you put it plainly, but we all know that it's never that simple.  Emotions are complicated and confusing, especially in times of uncertainty.  If you're in the same boat, try your best to be kind to yourself.  I'm my own biggest critic and even I have found moments during this pandemic to take time to just be.  Sometimes that is all that I can manage and luckily, sometimes just a moment is all that I need to gather myself.

I'd like to end this post by sharing the 13 things the Shine article lists that don't determine your self-worth.  They are as follows:

  1. Your To-Do List
  2. Your Job
  3. Your Social Media Following
  4. Your Age
  5. Your Appearance
  6. Other People
  7. How Far You Can Run
  8. Your Grades
  9. The Number of Friends You Have
  10. Your Relationship Status
  11. The Money (or Lack Thereof) in the Bank
  12. Your Like
  13. Anything or Anyone But Yourself 

So, please, keep this list in mind the next time that something in life makes you doubt your self-worth.  I know that I will.

-Vicky

         

  

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