Put Me In, Coach

 

Tiny Vicky, Age 4

As you can see from the photo above, I've been an athlete since a very young age.  I chose this picture because basketball is the sport that I've kept up with my whole life and hope to get back into playing.  That is, of course, once I feel appropriately recovered from my spinal surgery and social sports leagues resume post-pandemic.

I, for one, have always understood the power of influence that coaches possess.  Be it consciously or unconsciously, I've noticed that my performance on the court could change based on who I was playing for.  I've even drawn on my experience with a few of my coaches for a core value speech in an Art of Verbal Communication class in grad school.  In the speech, I mention three coaches and the impact that they had on me throughout my sports career.

More recently, I have felt an incredible emotional wave when I watched Jason Sudeikis as a coach in Ted Lasso on Apple TV.  I knew absolutely nothing about this show before I started watching it with my boyfriend, but I HIGHLY recommend that the first thing you do after reading this post if go watch the entirety of the first season.  Forget what you are doing and go watch.  Obviously, this seems a bit rash, and I don't think you should actually stop doing your work or shirk any responsibilities to go watch a TV show.  But, that being said, I would suggest it be something you start this evening, especially if you are an athlete yourself.

The show features Sudeikis as Ted Lasso, an American football coach who is hired to coach an English football team (aka soccer).  The coach has no experience with soccer, is leaving behind his family to take the job, and is hated by almost everyone who cheers for this soccer team.  But, he approaches this challenge with an elegant positivity that people can't help but respond to.  To say that I was surprised by this show is an understatement.  I absolutely loved it!  I'm honestly sad that I have to wait so long for the second season, since I binged watched it all over one weekend.

And, I'm not the only person who was pleasantly surprised by it.  Sudeikis won a Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Musical/Comedy and his acceptance speech itself was also hilarious.  Critics from The New York Times, Vanity Fair, and CNN all had similar reactions.  Some of my favorite quotes from reviews I read include:

• 'It’s as if Sudeikis et al. foresaw the chaos and terror of the summer of 2020 and wanted to prove that America could do something right.'

• 'Flip it on and, like one of those light-therapy sun lamps, feel your winter angst melting away.'

• ‘The notion that being a decent person, and treating other people with respect, is more important than who scored the most goals.’

• 'Mental health stealth bomb'

In addition to these few quotes, I agree with what I read about how the character of Ted is a pro when it comes to noticing things about other people.  He can tell when other people are struggling because he too is dealing with some turmoil in his personal life.  He uses his almost annoying positivity to melt the icy reception England and most people gave him.

This concept of coaches and coaching has been leaking into leadership practices for some time now.  While it's not as widespread as I would like it to be yet, I think again the COVID-19 pandemic has presented a unique opportunity for shifting cultures.  Both The Harvard Business Review and Gallup have written on the topic and I'd like to share some of their insights alongside my own.  

What I liked about how HBR approaches this concept is that it defines some typical management styles and speaks to how aspects of each need to be combined into a new type of management.  The three main types of style include (1) directive, (2) laissez-faire, and (3) nondirective.  Directive is when management is done primarily through telling and a manager assumes that the they know more than the person they are coaching.  For the most part, this can often depress the motivation of the person being coached.  Directive management is not always bad though.  Mentoring tends to fall under this category when an individual with years of experience talks to someone much their junior who is acting as a sponge trying to soak up information.  A positive relationship can be had between a mentor and mentee even with directive management.

Laissez-faire is the second management style which basically means that a manager leaves everyone alone and does not interfere.  This is appropriate for times when everyone on a team is functioning productively and doesn't need coaching.  However, these managers often overlook opportunities to help grow their employees because they are too hands-off.  The third style is nondirective and approaches what HBR states as the ideal management style, situational.  Nondirective management style includes listening, questioning and withholding judgement.  These managers aim to have their employees resolve their own problems.  The ideal, situational management, involves being a nondirective manager who recognizes when there might be an appropriate time for directive coaching to ensure continued productivity and growth of their direct reports.

Another point that I find important is the understanding that coaching doesn't just happen in planned meetings.  Coaching is the stuff that happens in brief exchanges.  Good managers are thoughtful whenever interacting with their people.  They know when to pause and take time to think on a question or when to react immediately with a question in return.  If a manager doesn't know the answer, they should be honest and perhaps say that they can find out for that individual.  They should make sure to give their employee a time frame within which they can expect to get an answer back from them.  Microsoft's CEO, Satya Nadella, says that he believes managers need to shift from 'know it alls' to 'learn it alls'.

Gallup joins the research by starting with the statistic that managers account for 70% of the variation in employee experience.  That is most definitely substantial.  A solid 24% of managers significantly overestimated their coaching abilities.  This 24% ranked themselves above average while those who worked for them ranked them as well below average.  There is obviously some sort of disconnect here.  To managers who are used to only tackling performance problems and using a directive telling style, this idea of coaching is seen as 'soft'.  Others have identified that this shift can make some managers psychologically uncomfortable, 'because it deprives them of their most familiar management tool: asserting their authority.'

So how do we assist managers in making this change?

I personally think that it might take multiple conversations, especially to get through to the managers who might have been set in their ways for long periods of time.  I quite liked the way that Gallup approached discussing the difference between coaching and bossing.  They identified three specific ways that these two actions are different.  They are:

1. Coaches focus on both individual and team engagement, while bosses tell people what to do
2. Coaches understand and leverage the talents/strengths of each individual on their team and utilize them, while bosses only supervise
3. Coaches set clear expectations and give constructive feedback often to help their people grow, and bosses watch for opportunities to correct 

It is important to note that coaching doesn't come naturally to everyone.  In fact, only two in ten managers 'intuitively understand how to engage employees, develop their strengths and set clear expectations through everyday conversations.'  

All is not lost, of course.  The managers that don't naturally know how to coach can be taught.  They can be taught by modeling from other senior leaders or individuals sharing personal experiences with coaches in other areas of their lives.  If you can truly show them the positive OR negative effect that they can have on others, it's possible that they will want to change.  I believe that some focus in the right areas can greatly change an individual's actions.  Am I being optimistic?  Absolutely!  But, I think that it is important to find the silver lining in the craziness that has been, and still is, the COVID-19 pandemic.  

I'll leave you with a personal anecdote that I find funny and telling.  When I was in kindergarten, I was NOT very coordinated.  I recently found my kindergarten and first grade report cards and saw that I was graded on my ability to bounce a ball while walking in a straight line.  In kindergarten, I received an NS, which stands for not satisfactory.  When I saw this I actually laughed out loud and called over to my Mom who was going through this school stuff with me.  I asked her, 'Did you know that I couldn't bounce a ball while walking in a straight line when I was in kindergarten?  Me?!  A division three basketball player?!'  She cheekily responded, 'Well, you were probably just distracted by something colorful or shiny!  And look, you passed it in first grade, so it's all fine.'  She held up my first grade report card and sure enough, I now had an S for satisfactory.  Still not great, but there's always room to grow!

-Vicky

P.S - I titled this post as such because I'm still on the job search and hoping that I can find my place with a management team that will 'put me in' and utilize my specific skill set in an appropriate manner.  I was never one who liked sitting on the sidelines.... so here's to looking forward!