Eat Your Heart Out


Today I actually drove my car a few miles.  I went to pick up some pre-ordered bagels from a local spot (support local!!) that doesn't deliver but will let you order ahead online.  It was about a 10 minute drive away.  I took all the recommended precautions.  I donned my cloth mask and had hand sanitizer to apply as needed.  I left the employee at the bagel shop a big tip to thank them for continuing to supply the community with yummy morsels.  But what I noticed on my outing was that it felt weird to leave my house.

Lately, I've had the same question come from many different social spheres.  Whether it is friends, family or neighbors, everyone seems to be asking, 'How are you?'.  To be honest, I'm not sure what to answer half the time.  I could say that I'm forcing myself to have a regular sleep schedule.  I could say that I've implemented a personal routine with daily tasks.  I could say that I wish the weather would stop being so bi-polar because it is affecting my mood.  I could say that I've been missing friends and social outings, but also sometimes don't feel like talking with anyone.  I could say that I'm obviously confused about how I am.

Instead, I tend to say that I'm doing as well as I can be doing and this seems to satisfy most.

Yesterday was an absolute beautiful day weather wise and I spent as much time as possible outside, soaking up the vitamin D, craving some serotonin formation.  I went for a run/walk, I weeded my side yard, I sat on my front porch and I even did a lower body workout outside.  I raked in the endorphins and good feels because it was one of the first truly warm days this spring.  I found myself smiling more and just having a genuinely better outlook.  Endorphins, am I right?

My positive mood leaked into this morning as I woke up with fun plans for my day.  It started out with my going to pick up those bagels because I had wanted to have some on hand to make fancy breakfast sanwiches one day this weekend.  I had the weird feeling from leaving my house for that errand stick with me as I did some work for my volunteer position with the Worksite Wellness Council of Massachusettes (WWCMA).  This particular work was on mental health during quarantine.

One of my 'fun' plans that I had for today was an attempt to make some homemade bread.  I recently read about a psychotherapist in NYC named Jack Hazan who has developed programs for his clients that involve baking specific bread recipes to work through their issues.  He says how baking has taught him to embrace change through the power of transformation.  I personally have always baked as a stress reliever, even when I would refuse to eat the items I was making.  Bread was never my specialty though, so I thought it might be a cool challenge to take on.

I found myself suddenly thinking and worrying about the amount of bread that would then be in the house if I continued with my plan.  I was going to attempt to make a roasted garlic and herb bread as well as some cast iron skillet foccacia - plus the bagels that I just brought home!  Bread was probably my most restricted item when I struggled with an eating disorder.  This is the case because I absolutely love bread.  A few disorded thoughts crossed my mind - "What if I can't control myself and I eat too much?!  I won't be able to work it off.  Why would I torture myself by having it around!?  This is a stupid idea."

The thoughts and worries I had did pass in time, but it made me think about how this quarantine might be affecting those individuals who are still in thick of dealing with any sort of disorded eating.  Or even those who might be dealing with some (diagnosed or undiagnosed) mental illness in isolation.  There is some uncertainty to when this whole ordeal will end which tends to heighten the feelings of anxiety in anyone.  It also might increase feelings that things are out of your own control which can lead to leaning on unhealthy coping mechanisms.  Even myself, who struggled in the year 2007, feel bad habits sneak up on me when I am feeling confined and like I don't have control of my situation.

Cynthia Bulik, the founding director of the University of North Carolina Center for Excellence on Eating Disorders, says that eatings disorders truly thrive in isolation.  If someone is living alone, they may feel a lack of support and become overwhelmed by disorded thoughts.  Often these individuals don't reach out on their own and can be consumed with negativity until someone reaches out to them.  With roommates, one might have trouble finding privacy for telehealth sessions and may even live with others who don't know that they have an issue.  If that's the case, this individual may feel like they have the extra burden of hiding their issues from roommates on top of dealing with their own struggle.

Harvard Business Reviews brings in the statistic that over 200 million workdays are lost due to mental health conditions each year, a monetary value of $16.8 billion in employee prouctivity.  Yet, mental health within the workplace continues to be taboo.  It is upsetting that almost 60% of employees have never spoken to anyone at work about their mental health status. Because this issue is so taboo, there are also low levels of self-identification, which means that some individuals may not even know that they may need help.

This idea comes back to the point of culture. HBR says it beautifully here: “Regardless of how robust a company’s benefits are, it is culture that ultimately reduces stigma and empowers employees to actually use those benefits without fear of retribution. Our study shows that the most commonly desired workplace resources for mental health are a more open and accepting culture, training, and clearer information about where to go or who to ask for support".

Mental health is a challenge on a regular day, but with the added uncertainty and stress of this COVID-19 quarantine, it is even more of a battle.  Reach out to your friends that you haven't heard from for a while, even if it's a short message.  We all need to feel social connection during this time.  Speak to them about what you are struggling with - give words to what you are feeling.  Ask them to share.  Be a sounding board.  We are in this together.  Even apart, we are in it together.


Anyways, I'm going to make and eat the bread.

-Vicky

Sources:
Fox News
NY Times
Harvard Business Review


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Waves

Image
I've recently started doing some research on the recommendations for women when they begin trying to conceive (TTC - a new abbreviation that I've become aware of).  The internet, as many of us know, can sometimes be a bit of a black hole.  You go in looking for one thing and come out with a million more questions and even more confusion than you started with.  Which is why, I didn't JUST go to the internet.  I also sent texts out to all of my friends who are already mommas and asked them to share with me what they did during this stage. What I received from friends was a sense of excitement that this journey was close to beginning for me, knowledge sharing about what worked for them, questions about the timing we were considering, and ultimately just support and an offer of being there for whatever questions come up during my research & the process in general. I maybe shouldn't have chosen the week of my period to dive into all of this.... as most women know, hor...
Read more

Younger

Image
I have two fabulous friends who both work in the TV/film industry as second assistant directors.  I wish I could say that I was even one tenth the connoisseur of their art as they are, but sadly I only dabble.  I just recently started watching a show that one of them worked on a few seasons of -  Younger .  More on that later...    This weekend, I found myself getting the scary news that one of my best friends was suddenly in the hospital.  This friend is a generally healthy, active, and wonderful individual.  Their partner texted me early one morning that they had an arterial dissection on the back of their head at the base of their neck. I'm not happy to share that I've actually had two other close friends go through something terrifyingly similar over the past few years.  Neither of these friends were really given a clear answer as to why they had these episodes.  The recovery, though lengthy and requiring close monitoring near the ...
Read more

Stoplight

Image
I've recently started seeing a new therapist.  As you may have seen from my last post, I've also been thinking about visiting smash rooms to let out emotions (still haven't managed to try one out yet!).   For me, therapy has always been a space where I am able to get vulnerable and real with someone who really doesn't know me.  And even though it happens every time I return to therapy for support, I'm always surprised to hear the shock that many mental health professionals have at my steadfast and lofty standards, for myself exclusively.  These standards, of course, began for me at a very young age. In psychology, the concept of nature vs. nurture is often discussed.  This is the idea that both nature and nurture play a role in how someone turns out. Experiments have shown that even identical twins can develop significant differences when they grow up in different environments.  Most research, however, eventually posits that both nature and nurtu...
Read more